


Paramedic

by clautchy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blow Jobs, Drunkenness, M/M, Old Men In Love, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, i'm bad at tags but whatever, soft smut, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-19
Updated: 2014-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-13 01:40:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1208116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clautchy/pseuds/clautchy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin just wants to go home. He finds Levi instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paramedic

Three drinks in and everyone's easing up into conversation. Another two rounds and the bartender is offering free shots for the whole gang. Apparently, cinnamon whiskey exists in the form of a liqueur named Fireball. Enough said. Hanji and Nanaba are big lightweights and now they're gone from reality and entering the world of giggling fits and bad puns.

Later in the night, when Mike and Nanaba are hooking up like teenagers, Erwin takes Hanji to the bar for tequila shots. Hanji coughs on their last one, shuddering at the bad taste of salt and lime. Erwin laughs and holds Hanji's wrists as they try to stabilise themself. Then Hanji flops over the couch on top of Mike and Nanaba. 

"You fuckin' shitstain," Nanaba groans as she tries to kick Hanji onto the floor. 

"Eat a bag of dicks," Hanji protests weakly, feeling like sleeping as soon as their head touches cushion. Mike picks them up effortlessly though and throws them onto the empty couch opposite. 

Erwin grins, swaying on the spot. "Oi, cuddle me, eyebrows! How dare they get to be together?" Hanji snaps and Erwin, with heavy steps, plops down beside Hanji. 

"Only because I'm drunk," Erwin says as he wraps his arms around them. 

Two hours later, Mike and Nanaba have caught a cab and somehow Hanji's managed to make it to their bus alive. Erwin decides he'll call them once he manages to get his train. He manages to stumble down the flight of stairs, and with his eyes almost popping out of their sockets in concentration he reads the board - six minutes until his train. It's the last one too. He's thankful he decided not to stop to buy late night snacks from the convenience store otherwise he'd have to call a cab too and he didn't want to be spending that much money.

Body tingling with the alcohol, he manages to walk near the end of the almost-empty platform. He plonks himself down on one of the chairs, the metal an uncomfortable shape and digging into his spine. Erwin lets out a low whine, closing his eyes to shield himself from the bright fluorescent lights above. For a while, he's able to ignore the throbbing in his head and just focus on the night ambience: the rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze, birds having a late-night song and the distant echo of cars from the main street.

Erwin thinks he's almost got control of his headache until he hears someone gagging. He opens his eyes, a little irritated and vision a bit hazy. On the same bench, separated from three seats, is a small man. His hair's raven black shaved at the back and longer locks dangling in front of his face, his head hanging between his knees. Blinking, Erwin tries to remember whether the guy was already there before he sat down.

"You alright?" he asks lamely.

Then the guy looks up and his face is a sickly white with puffy eyes and a sheen of sweat across his forehead. 

"Shit," Erwin mutters as the guy suddenly gags, his cheeks puffing out for a brief second before he vomits onto the pavement. It reeks of alcohol, the brownish liquid pooling into a stinking mess before him. The stranger then slumps into his knees, moaning.

Realising it could be serious, Erwin jumps to his feet and avoiding the vomit, grabs the man's slender neck in one hand and his shoulders with the other, forcing him to sit up. He tries to think - _fuck,_ his headache is destroying him, and the flicking fluorescents aren't helping; and he checks for the stranger's temperature. He lifts the man's head up and his eyes roll back into his sockets, mouth agape and dribbling. If Erwin weren't so drunk himself he would have cared but now his only thoughts were that of the man who could be dying in front of him. Pushing the man's hair back, he cups the stranger's forehead. It's cold and clammy and Erwin groans.

"Can you hear me?" he decides on talking, thinking it a better way to keep this guy awake.

The man simply grunts in response, eyelids flickering. _Shit._ This guy was fucking wasted; he had to call an ambulance. Sobriety returning to him, he pulls out his cellphone and dials 000. 

"Stay awake," he tells the man, not sure if it would do anything. He remembers reading that you should always keep talking, so he starts thinking of small talk when he finishes calling for the ambulance.

"Yeah, we're at Newtown station. On the platform. Where the trains are, yeah," he wants to close his eyes and fall asleep but he pushes through his headache. On the phone, they're asking what kind of symptoms are showing. He glances to the stranger, "He's wasted. Really cold. He just vomited - yeah, he's sweating. I don't have any water on me - no, he's unresponsive. Well, I don't know if he can hear me or not but he's not talking."

He looks to the stranger, who's slumped into his hands. "Don't fall asleep," Erwin commands, pushing his head up even more. The man makes a low sound at the back of his throat in protest and Erwin can feel his Adam's apple bopping up and down against his fingers.

"Ah - fucking..." Erwin dodges a fresh wave of vomit. "He just vomited again," he informs the paramedic. They thank him and tell him they'll be there in a few minutes. Allowing the man to sink his face into his legs again, Erwin fishes for tissues in his pockets. He finds a clean tissue and straightens it out before grabbing the stranger's face and wiping his mouth. "Can you hear me?" he asks again, the strong smell of alcohol and puke making him want to vomit too. "My name is Erwin Smith. What's your name?"

"Nerr...vi."

"What's that?" Erwin prompts, throwing the dirty tissue on the ground.

Levi sucks in his breath then says, clearly, "Levi."

"That's your name?"

Levi nods between heavy breaths, beginning to tremor from what Erwin is guessing is hypothermia. He pushes Levi's back into the seat, trying to keep him upright and then takes off his jacket. "Here, don't puke on my coat, okay? I've called an ambulance and they're going to get here in a few minutes and fix you up."

Levi moans though his body is grateful for the extra layer. He's small, and Erwin's coat acts as a blanket.

Then, Erwin hears the shattering echo of industrial noise, the high-pitched squeal of metal scraping against rusted tracks and his gut drops. The train slows as it reaches the platform, brakes screeching in his ears making his skull feel like it was breaking into pieces. 

" _Fuck,_ " Erwin stares at the train before returning his gaze to the drunken mess in front of him. He wants to get on the train, just go home and go to sleep, but for some reason there's this inner responsibility within him nagging that he can't just _leave_ the guy here. He's torn, the doors opening and the paramedics still not here. On instinct, he takes a step towards the inviting doors but is stopped by the gentle and desperate hold on his wrist. He glances back and Levi's clutching onto him, still delirious, sweating and shivering, but scared.

"Don't leave me," he manages to mumble.

"I'm not going to leave you," Erwin instantly replies and it's the truth. He couldn't leave him alone in a state like this. "I just want you to keep talking, okay? How do you feel now?" he asks, figuring vomiting twice would have ejected most of the alcohol from his system.

"I dunno what's goin' on," Levi confesses, shifting in the metal chair. Even a wasted person knew those seats were damn uncomfortable.

"Do you know where you are?" The train door shuts and Erwin's ride home disappears into the darkness. Now he definitely can't leave the guy.

"Too many voices..." Levi slurs, his eyes beginning to droop. Erwin grabs his head, cupping Levi's face in his large hands. It was only now he realised how small he was; his feet barely touched the ground while sitting. 

"You have to stay awake, Levi. Don't fall asleep, okay? Keep your eyes open," he tries for his best commanding voice. "The paramedics should be here soon..." Erwin glances up the empty platform. Then, like an angel had answered his prayers, two men clad in blue with a stretcher emerge from the opening lift doors. Erwin waves meekly and they quickly roll the stretcher towards Levi. 

Erwin steps back from Levi as one of the paramedics approached, setting down a first aid kit beside him, making note to avoid the pool of vomit. It's all standard procedure then, Erwin swaying awkwardly while the paramedics gave Levi water and checking his vitals before carrying him onto the stretcher and handing Erwin's coat back. 

"Are you still here?" Erwin hears Levi ask, his voice desperate and wavering.

"It's okay, I'm not leaving you," Erwin answers, repeating the same words. He doesn't know why but he can't bring himself to leave. Even as they haul him into the ambulance and tell him they'll take over, Erwin insists he'll stay. 

At the hospital, Erwin's not much use. He sits in the waiting room for an hour before he sees Levi again. When Levi does walk through the doors, he's shaking and holding onto one of the paramedic's arms. He looks even smaller, standing, with Erwin's large coat slung over his shoulders.

"Thank you, is he okay?" Erwin asks the paramedic.

"Yeah, I think he just wants to sleep now. Are you two friends?"

Erwin finds himself nodding.

"Make sure he eats something and keeps hydrated. We had to pump his stomach so he doesn't have much left in him."

Erwin nods and holds his arm out for Levi. Levi takes it, shrugging into Erwin's larger frame with exhaustion. "Thanks. As long as he's okay now."

A taxi arrives within five minutes and Erwin carries Levi into the backseat bridle style before buckling him in. "Where do you live?"

Levi mumbles an address. Thankfully, it's close and Erwin repeats it to the driver. On the short drive to Levi's place, Levi rests his head gently on Erwin's shoulder, already ready for sleep. Yet as they stop in front of a signature inner-west terraced house, Erwin nudges the sleepy Levi after paying the driver. He unbuckles Levi and picks him up again, carrying him to the door after checking the number. "Do you have keys?" he asks Levi.

Levi nods slowly, reaching for his pants. Despite how tight they are, he fishes out a set of keys and hand them to Erwin. Using the arm that's holding up Levi's legs, he bends down and slots a few keys into the slot until one works. It's dark as shit but Levi leans forward, reaching for the wall. Erwin gets the hint and finds the hall light. Shutting the door behind him, he walks through the empty house.

"Up the stairs, second door on the right..." Levi mumbles into Erwin's shoulder. Erwin follows the instruction, trudging the stairs despite his headache, his own exhaustion and alcohol-induced haziness. Finally, he's able to set Levi down onto a bed - his bed, he assumes, and Levi's out like a light. Erwin stares at the small sleeping figure, only for a few seconds, maybe to wonder why he was so drunk and so alone on Valentine's Day, but more so where _he_ was going to sleep. 

In the end, he opted for the living room downstairs. He figured Levi wouldn't mind him couch-surfing for the night since he had inadvertently saved his sorry ass and paid a good $17 on a cab fare. He falls asleep, his dreams filled with the images of clammy sweat, an ambulance and fluorescent lights.

~

Erwin wakes up to the uninviting smell of eggs and bacon. He opens his eyes slowly, blinking as he adjusts to the bright light blinding him temporarily. Sitting up, he stretches his aching muscles and looks behind him. Through the arched doorway he can see a familiar raven-haired man. _Levi._ Erwin's stomach drops, trying to assess the situation despite his impending hangover. Shit, is it socially acceptable to sleep on a stranger's couch? He massages his temples and gets to his feet. Glancing around, it's neat despite the tacky furniture and 70s-styled wallpaper. Nothing seems to be out of place, remotes on the coffee table aligned in a neat row next to the perfect stack of various magazines.

"You're awake," Levi states when Erwin leans against the archway, barely batting an eyelid. He picks up a pot and starts dishing the scrambled egg onto two plates, then does the same with the bacon.

"How much do you remember from last night?" Erwin asks, deciding it better to get straight to the point. 

"Mmm, I'm pretty sure I was drunk," Levi answers dryly. Erwin watches him as he takes out cutlery from a drawer nearby. No longer clammy and pale-faced, Levi could be considered petite if it weren't for his thick neck - he might work out, Erwin figures. He has a youthful face, and Erwin can't quite determine if he's nineteen or twenty-nine; it's one of those faces where either answer could be right. Despite the scowl, accentuating his heavy lids and thin eyebrows, he has a certain aesthetic teetering between 80s punk and teen hipster. It's kind of attractive, Erwin admits to himself, but most inner-west twenty-somethings are.

"What are you looking at?" Levi snarls, startling Erwin.

"Nothing," he says sheepishly, taking the plate Levi's holding out for him. "Thanks?" He looks at the food confusingly.

Levi just shrugs and muscles past him back into the dining room, sitting at the head of the table. Erwin's torn between laughing and wincing; whoever this Levi is, he's flaring with arrogance. But he's so fucking small, Erwin thinks he could knock out his tiny little frame with one punch. Instead, Erwin takes a seat at the opposite end of the table and eats his breakfast slowly, forcing egg and bacon down his throat. He's grateful, but can't work out why Levi's doing any of this.

It's awkwardly silent between them, an intangible cloud of unspoken questions building and neither willing to speak first. Erwin catches Levi staring at him, stormy-grey eyes piercing through him like a stake in the heart and Erwin's not comfortable enough to hold his own. He stares down at his plate, checks his phone, glances around the room - anywhere but Levi.

Once both are finished, Levi stands and takes their plates away. In the kitchen, Erwin can hear water running. He wonders if he should help Levi clean up or if that would be awkward. Instead, he decides to text Hanji.

**Guess where I am**

When Hanji is hungover, it usually means they're awake before 7AM so he figures he'll get conversation from them. While waiting for Hanji, he searches for a bathroom. It doesn't take too long to find and he splashes water on his face after relieving himself. Like the living room and kitchen, it's sterile and disturbingly neat. Even the toothbrush is in a little case. Staring at himself in the mirror, he looks like shit. His usual neat haircut is a mess, fringe sprawled across his forehead and random locks poking in the wrong direction. And it's no surprise that his hangover is bringing out the darkest shadows underneath his blue eyes. He tries combing his hair with his fingers to no avail, the product from yesterday still somewhat stiff. Straightening his shirt and fixing his collar, he resigns with his poor image and returns to the dining room.

Immediately, a tea towel is thrown at his face. He peels it off and holds it, "Huh?"

"You can repay breakfast with wiping these bad boys," Levi gestures to a growing pile of wet dishes draining next to him from the sink. Erwin shuffles into the kitchen and methodically starts wiping the plates and neatly stacking them onto a counter.

He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and quickly pulls it out, reading Hanji's reply.

**did u miss the last train lol**

Erwin punches in a reply. 

**I think I saved some guy from alcohol poisoning and now I'm helping him clean his plates??????**

Erwin taps the question mark key for emphasis, hoping his quick explanation will prompt Hanji to give him social tips.

"Oi, you have plenty of time to text after we get this cleaned up," Levi snaps, and Erwin shoves his phone into his pocket and returns to the task. He feels another buzz in his pocket but ignores it until after he's finished helping Levi. While returning the cutlery to its rightful drawer, he goes through drafts of sentences in his head as he tries to work out the best way to talk to Levi. The truth is he has no idea who this guy is and his brash attitude is making Erwin regret staying here, but at the same time he's intrigued - the shortness and the arrogance, the absolute _cleanliness_ of the house, and of course, the more obvious: why he was alone and wasted.

When they're done, Erwin gives the towel back and Levi puts it back in its place before wiping down the sink. Then, he turns to Erwin with his arms crossed. "So."

"Yes?" Erwin says innocently, realising he had no proper excuse for sleeping at a stranger's house without permission.

"Do you often do this?"

"What?" Erwin blinks, "I mean, I guess I just did what anyone else would have done, you were really sick..." 

Levi's eyes narrow, "Is it because you want a fuck?"

" _What?_ " Erwin chokes out. It isn't what he expects. He's usually good at reading people, but this person is nothing but surprise after surprise.

"I dunno, you get all heroic and say you _saved_ me then expect sex for your deeds?" Levi suggested with another shrug.

Erwin scoffs, "No offence, but I don't find wasted idiots puking out their insides very attractive."

To his amusement, Levi almost looks offended, "Well... I've had better days."

There's a pause. "Do you not like Valentine's Day?" Erwin asks kindly.

"Eh," Levi says, turning his back to Erwin as he opens the fridge. He pours himself a glass of juice. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Tap water's fine," Erwin's given a glass and he drinks it thankfully. Then, he follows Levi to the living room. Levi jumps onto the couch he had slept on, "I hope you didn't drool on this," he says lightly, stretching his legs across the cushions.

"I don't drool," Erwin says defensively. Levi hums in reply and gestures Erwin to sit in the vacant armchair across from him. Erwin awkwardly sits down, clutching onto his half-empty glass. He takes the opportunity to read his text from Hanji.

**ur such a good samaritan. is he hot?**

**even though valentines day was yesterday u should still get in there lol it's never too late**

**unless he's ugly then nvm**

**no i'm joking dont judge people on their looks i'm sure he's a very lovely man**

**or not if he was really wasted lol i dunno are u actually wanting advice or are u just bored?**

Erwin reads through all their text messages, cringing every time at their use of the word _lol_. Christ, they were coming on thirty and still texted like a tween. It hurt his eyes. 

**If you really want to know, he's attractive. Though very short. I am texting you to avoid awkward small talk and also because he keeps glaring at me. I think he just wants me out of his house**

Just as he sends the text, Levi clears his throat loudly. Erwin looks up, meeting the signature Levi scowl. "Who you texting?"

"A friend."

"About me?"

"That's very self-obsessive of you," Erwin says even though it's totally fucking true.

Levi rolls his eyes. "Whatever."

**erwin pls.**

**no sane person wants u to leave their house**

**don't u deny u shouldve been an underwear model**

**make ur move u dipshit**

A red tinge creeps onto his cheeks reading Hanji's texts. Levi's watching him and he feels incredibly self-conscious.

 **You are no help.**

He hopes the full stop accentuates the finality of the statement and shoves his phone into his pocket.

"Is it your girlfriend you're texting?" Levi asks.

"Why are you so curious?"

Levi shrugs, "You've seen the worst of me already, figured I deserved to know a thing about you, which is, by the way, nothing. For all I know you could be some creepy necrophiliac serial killer waiting for the right moment."

"Uh, no. I'm actually a criminal lawyer, if you're looking for titles," Erwin's not sure why he told Levi that but it doesn't matter that much.

Levi doesn't reply to that, merely nodding once. Instead, he says, "So are you texting your girlfriend?"

Erwin looks at him steadily. Why did it matter? "No. Just a friend, like I said."

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No," Erwin says again, a little suspiciously. He drains his glass and puts it on the coaster then stands up. "Look, it's been a nice chat. I'm glad you're safe and sound. But I should be going."

Is Levi disappointed? "Hmm. Do you have a ride?"

"I'll call a cab."

"I can drive you home. The least I could do for you carrying my sorry ass home."

"I thought you were complaining about returning favours before?" 

"Only if you were a creepy fifty-year-old with a foot fetish," Levi stands up. 

Erwin blinks, "I don't think you should be driving. The alcohol wouldn't have left your body yet."

Levi is definitely offended at that, nostrils flaring, "They pump my stomach and you think I still have poison in me? I've already taken a dump and peed three times this morning. You, on the other hand, are a hazard."

The bluntness is a little jarring and Erwin grimaces. "I'll take my chances with the cab, thanks."

Erwin thinks Levi is going to resign but then he says, "I have your coat."

"Can you get it for me, please?" Erwin asks.

"It's upstairs, follow me," Levi demands and Erwin finds himself following the order. While he appears calm on the outside, his heart is twisting and turning over itself as adrenaline pumps through his body. He takes out his phone.

 **Holy shit**

Hanji's reply is immediate.

**ARE U MAKIN UR MOVE**

Erwin texts back:

**He's giving me my coat back, which is in his room, and apparently I have to go with him**

**ahhh omg get off the phone u loser!!!!**

Hanji didn't have to tell him though, because once they reach the stairs Levi literally snatches Erwin's phone out of his hands, "Who the _fuck_ are you fucking texting all the fucking-" Erwin tries to grab his phone back but Levi has his back turned to him, his shoulders shielding the phone. Erwin groans, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, they're really assumptive; in all honesty they do it just to..." Erwin finds he's making up excuses and stops himself, dropping his shoulders with defeat. Levi turns around and looks at him with a sly look of mischief. He's not smiling, but his eyes are dancing with smugness.

"Did you think I wanted to fuck you?"

" _No!_ " Erwin protests, wishing his arguments in a courtroom were as good as his social ones. "I'm leaving right now. You know what, keep the coat. I don't even need-" Before Erwin can walk back down the stairs, Levi grabs onto his wrist. Erwin glances at him, face flushed.

"Don't leave," he says, tone teasing and as it turns out, Levi remembers a lot more of last night than Erwin thinks. Then, Levi's arms are wrapped around Erwin's neck and Erwin's bending down to accommodate for the height gap. Their noses graze against each other, Levi's breath hot and minty on his lips. Erwin's hands are travelling up and down Levi's sides, feeling thick muscle and soon they both give in - Erwin smashing his lips against Levi's, too harsh and too desperate. It doesn't matter because Levi is just as eager, pushing his tongue against Erwin's mouth. Erwin parts them and then he's sucking on Levi's wet tongue while slipping his hands up Levi's shirt. If Erwin had a hunch that Levi was muscular, then it was an understatement. He touches and massages the taut muscles across the front of his torso. Levi moans into the kiss, shuddering and leaning into Erwin's touch.

Erwin isn't sure how they made it to Levi's room, but soon they're dry-humping on the freshly-made bed. His cock's hard in his pants and he groans into the wet kisses, bucking his hips against Levi's shamelessly. 

"Do you do this often?" Levi whispers in his ear, swiping his tongue and biting on his lobe. "Fuck strangers?"

"Does it matter?" Erwin nips Levi's neck. "How are we doing this?"

"Mmm," Levi sits up, continuing to roll his hips over Erwin's. He licks his lips, looking up and down Erwin's clothed torso. "We'll have to get rid of that, first." He starts unbuttoning Erwin's shirt, leaning down to kiss Erwin's abdomen as more skin is exposed. Erwin lifts his upper body and helps Levi pull off his sleeves, then the shirt's discarded on the ground. Levi does the same, throwing his behind him. Erwin has the urge to kiss Levi all over - it's been a while since he's fucked anyone with a body this ripped. With a strong hold on Levi's hips, he brings Levi forward and cranes his neck forward, biting and sucking at Levi's stomach and waistband. With one hand he starts palming Levi's tight pants. 

Levi groans, "You gonna suck me off, old man?"

"Old?" Erwin questions and for that he takes his damn fine time with Levi's pants. He slowly unhooks the button and kisses the small imprint in Levi's stomach before moving onto the fly.

"Criminal lawyer? Come on, you're what, thirty-five?" Levi says through gasps, grabbing onto Erwin's hair as Erwin pulls down his fly.

A stray thought flies through Erwin and he frowns. "How old are you?" 

"Relax, I'm twenty-nine," Levi scoffs, "Now fuck me before I get bored."

"Someone needs to clean that mouth of yours," Erwin quips. He decides their position is less than practical and flips them over so he's on top of Levi. He brings himself level with Levi's crotch then tugs the tight jeans off him. Levi pouts, face flushing a bright pink as he assists with the more than difficult task. "Wear practical jeans," Erwin grumbles, kicking the jeans onto the floor. 

"There's no way we're doing this when I'm wearing socks," Levi pushes Erwin's face away and peels his socks off. 

"Socks offend you?" Erwin laughs, "Should I take mine off too?"

"You better otherwise I'll think the only sex you get is that polite missionary shit."

Erwin grins and does so. 

"You can take your pants off too; I wanna see all the goods."

"Don't think this is your personal strip show," Erwin easily kicks his pants off and returns to Levi's abdomen. He trails kisses down to Levi's hips and teasingly sucks his inner thighs and the final layer of fabric between Levi and Erwin's mouth. 

Levi's shuddering underneath him. Erwin glances up; his face is red and hot, biting on his bottom lip to suppress a louder moan. Deciding Levi's been under enough teasing, he pulls down his briefs and Levi's cock springs free. Licking his lips, Erwin pokes out his tongue and glides it up his shaft. 

" _F-fuck,_ " Levi fists Erwin's hair. Erwin's thankful he had that glass of water earlier and he licks wet spit all over Levi's dick before taking him in the mouth. Shamelessly, he sucks Levi's head and rubs his tongue over his slit, tasting precum. Levi whines, "Oh shit, fuckin' _shit._ " His mouth pops over the head and a small line of precum mixed with spit connects Erwin's lips to Levi's cock. He repeats the movement, gently squeezing Levi's base as he pops and sucks and tongues Levi's head. 

Then, with more audacity, he takes more of Levi in his mouth. He's not gonna pretend but his gag reflex is fucking awful so he's cautious with this. 

However, Levi, becoming progressively more aroused, bucks his hips into Erwin's throat. Erwin coughs and pulls away, his cheeks scarlet with embarrassment.

"Oops," Levi says, not sorry at all. Erwin wipes his mouth with the back of his hand after his small recovery. "Still good?" 

"Yes," Erwin grumbles, "It's just sensitive." He returns to Levi's cock and wets it again. With someone else, it might have been hard to get back in the mood but Levi's receptive and unashamed, whining and begging at Erwin's touch. Seeing the stony scowl replaced with such untamed desire makes Erwin want Levi's cock even more and he sucks harshly while using a hand to jerk off what couldn't fit in his mouth.

Levi jerks again but this time Erwin pulls back before he chokes again. "Fuck old man, I'm gonna fuckin' come," he says between hot breaths.

"Now?" 

"Yeah- shit, _fuck-!_ " Erwin pulls his mouth away, milking Levi's orgasm with strong thrusts. Then, Levi grabs Erwin's face and pulls him in for a kiss. It's messy and salty but it's nothing except hot. Erwin won't admit it but he hasn't been with someone this fun for a very long time. 

Levi falls back onto the mattress and stretches his body, arching his back as he did so. Erwin eyes his muscles, tempted to kiss them again.

"Give me a minute," Levi says. When Erwin gives him a confused look, he reiterates, "To return the favour."

"Honestly, I'm still hungover. Heat of the moment and I could ignore it, but now my brain is splitting in to pieces." He's not lying. He wants nothing more than Levi's tiny mouth trying to take on his cock but if he doesn't take something he thinks his arousal will only make him feel worse.

Levi pouts, eyes darting to Erwin, "Then I hope before you go home, you leave your number so I can fuck you later on."

"You're such a romantic," Erwin says teasingly.

"Piss off, Valentine's Day was yesterday. Remember, when I was puking?"

Ugh, that was one way to turn him off. "Thanks for reminding me," he says dryly.

Levi just shrugs. Later on, they dress back into their clothes and Erwin finally gets his coat back. Levi insists he didn't vomit on it, but Erwin's still going to dry clean it. He picks up his phone from where Levi dropped it near the stairs, too, to find more messages from Hanji.

**okay it's been ten minutes i'm assuming u are doing the do**

**i hope you're using protection**

**wow he must be really hot if u still haven't replied**

Erwin blushes.

**Why are you so invested in my personal life?**

He knows he's doing his best to avoid the conversation with Hanji, but in person they'll pummel out the truth from him. Anyway, Erwin then calls a cab and finds Levi on the couch once again, flipping through channels on the TV. 

"Got a pen?"

Levi goes to a table across the room and throws Erwin a pen. Erwin takes out a business card from his wallet and scrawls his personal number onto the back, then gives pen and card to Levi. 

Levi reads over his business card, "Sure you don't actually want to open me up and play with my blood?"

"Uh...?" 

"Whenever someone gives me a minimalist off-white business card, I think I've got a bit of right to just clarify."

"If I were Patrick Bateman, I wouldn't admit to being a psychopath, would I?" Erwin grins at the reference. "You can work out if I want to fuck you or eat you soon enough." He leans down to kiss Levi on the forehead. Levi diverts, bringing Erwin's face to his lips. When they part, Erwin smiles.

"What are you looking at, you big dope?"

"Says the guy I found at a train station," Erwin counters. Levi pokes his tongue out and Erwin grins one last time before heading to the front door.

He waits outside on the kerb for his cab. Another text from Hanji.

**wait till i tell mike and nanaba u hooked up with a stranger omg u bad boy i'm so proud of u**

Erwin snorts.

**Tell Mike and Nanaba and I'm ignoring you for a week**

He pauses, then shrugs and decides _fuck it,_ Hanji's going to find out the truth sooner or later anyway.

**I'm seeing him again**

Erwin's not looking forward to Hanji's overreaction in her next text, but for now knowing that Levi wants to see him again comforts him. When he gets home he showers and changes into fresh clothes. Finally, he returns to his phone and finds a text from Hanji and an unknown number. He opens the unknown and reads it, a smile creeping on his face.

**you're not that bad for an old man. tomorrow?**

Erwin quickly writes a reply.

**Yes.**

**Author's Note:**

> uh oh i see a trend of me writing stupid stories based on personal experience. trust me on this, i didn't think it was possible but the shock of seeing someone almost dying really does shock you into sobriety. like erwin, i was very brave. unlike erwin, i went home obviously. 
> 
> this was fun and all. i sorta tried to make it realistic so i backed off any intense smut, sorry broskis. 
> 
> i also write this without much 'americanising' because i think australia can be just as accessible as america. 
> 
> hope you all liked this, it was fun to write xx didn't edit though so no hate pfft and late valentines day fic AGAIN NO HATE
> 
> ps. also american psycho references for the win.
> 
> ~
> 
> edit edit edit: I /will/ be writing an epilogue scene due to the incredibly positive feedback! Expect an update within the next few weeks (:


End file.
